Heading to Divorce Mediation? What Not to Do If You Want to Succeed

Posted on: 20 April 2022

When two people who had once been happily married fall out, they may find it very hard to communicate with each other. Certain issues may have come to a head, and they no longer see eye to eye, so they are unable to sort things out calmly and without argument. Certainly, this can cause significant issues as the union heads towards divorce, but thankfully, they will be able to take advantage of a mediation process. But what are some of the key points to remember if you are unfortunate to be in this position and what shouldn't you do during mediation?

The Process of Mediation

In an ideal world, a trained expert will help move a conversation along, touching all of the important areas and helping you come to a conclusion. These mediation sessions can help save you a lot of time and money if they are successful, and they also allow you to develop agreements or solutions you may have never thought of before.

How to Prepare

Still, there is no magic bullet, and you will need to approach mediation with a positive mindset and avoid some of the common pitfalls:

Not Being Focused

Some people in your situation will be too caught up in their own affairs or relatively minor issues to see the bigger picture. It's important to be focused on the larger priorities and get them all sorted out before talking about other points.

Failing to Listen

Some people simply do not listen when they enter the mediation process. In behaving like this, they won't be able to appreciate the argument set forth by either the other party or the mediator, and this will certainly hold back any progress.

Not Being Realistic

Realism is very important and without some give and take, it may be hard to reach a conclusion. This is why it's important to discuss your side of the equation with an experienced legal representative before setting out to the mediation appointment. They'll tell you whether you're being unrealistic and whether you should modify your expectations instead.

Unchecked Emotions

It may be hard to keep those emotions in check, especially as there is so much on the line. Also, it can be difficult to talk about times gone by when you may remember a better relationship and happier days. Strong emotions can sometimes lead to arguments and temper tantrums, and none of these is likely to move things forward successfully.

Lack of Preparation

Above all else, though, don't fall into the trap of turning up without any preparation. As mentioned, you should talk with a legal representative to get your expectations in check, but you should definitely come up with a list of reasonable points to make when it is your turn to contribute.

The Best Approach

With these points in mind and a positive thought process, you can come through mediation with flying colours. This will make it much easier for you to proceed with the formal divorce to get on with your life and move forward. Don't forget to get advice from your divorce lawyer as you prepare.